Balenciaga, Go Home. You're Drunk
The last - and only - time I wore (read: was forced to wear) Crocs was at a spa when I was in Prague, feeling adventurous. I slipped on the sad excuse for shoes thinking about the flammability of the material and kicked them off for the alternative of letting fish nibble at my feet as a strange excuse for a foot massage. Trust me... the latter was better.
Naturally, when I think of Balenciaga, I think about the classic city bag. It's an edgy take on a casual bag. I respect it even though I don't think I could pull it off. Fashion is about comfort and expression. Balenciaga is a frontrunner in style. Demna Gvasalia, the brand's creative director and also head designer of Vetements, has done some pretty neat stuff in his career. Neat, but strange. After the brand's latest collaboration with Crocs, I'm not totally sure what's going on: but I'm mad.
The 2017 release of the Triple S sneaker looked more like a Skechers Shape-Up painted by kindergartners learning their primary colors, but I didn't think too much of it. Maybe Gvasalia was trying to put commentary on the absurdity of pop culture. It's sort of like a meme, but of course Gucci did that better.
The collaboration with Crocs, the world's most effective form of non-hormonal birth control, just doesn't make any sense. It's crude, childish, clunky, and even more laughable than the Balenciaga FRAKTA bag.
Look at those horrific styrofoam chunks and all their glory. They're tainting the wondrous stage of Paris Fashion week, reminding people that yes... mediocrity is fine and there are people willing to pay exorbitant amounts of money on Crocs.
What really leaves me at a loss for words is that the only touch of Balenciaga in the collaboration is the embellishments ("jibbetz" for those of you better versed in Croc accessories lingo) that fit in the holes on the top of the platform Crocs. If we're really talking functionality, isn't the point of Crocs to maintain those holes so your feet can breathe? What is Balenciaga thinking? Gvasalia, I'm demanding answers.
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